Woohoo! Even though I did not actually bother to wait for the results of today's SCBA pairs to be released, I heard from Kenneth that me and Haiwei got something that is higher than last place. Words cannot explain how I feel now. Oh wait, I believe that "accomplished" does a pretty good job. Now that I am showing slight signs of being able to not get bottom board for everything, maybe the angry SCBA lady will not ban me from playing after all.
Speaking of feeling accomplished, I have managed to do almost no studying today. Since Haiwei, Clarence and Yanwei came over to my house, it made no sense not to play. So we played. Of course we did study for brief periods, but there was alot of Mariokart, Super Smash Bros Brawl, Pokemon Cards and sleeping. Of course, I did try to suggest that we fix a small section of my incomplete jigsaw puzzle, but my pleas went unheard. Studying is just not meant to be done with so much distractions around.
My sister has been telling me about this Malay couple with a two-year old sickly looking baby child. Apparently, these able bodied couple with tattoos on their arms cannot be bothered to go and find some proper job, so they have instead decided to go scam people instead. The rough idea of their scam is that they would ask you for money by telling you that their child is sick and needs to go to the hospital immediatly. Following that, they would rush off to hail a cab and tell you that they have no money on them and need it desperately. Anyway, do be wary of this Malay couple. Their target areas includes Serangoon, Hougang, Ang Mo Kio and Bishan.
H is for Hatred. Hatred is a long lasting feeling against someone or something, and has many negative conotations attached to it. You might hate something or someone because of bad experiences from the past. Maybe you have been hurt by someone whom you trusted, or perhaps failure after failure has taught you that Chinese is a subject not worth loving. Negative actions might arise from hating something, but it usually does not go beyond bad mouthing. Unfortunatly, hatred can only be removed by time, so since we cannot do much about it, why don't we just enjoy this little bit of emotional baggage before it dissappears?
xw 9:00 AM
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Someone once told me that I should stay happy, as my emotions would be reflected off the people around me. I noticed, however true that might be, that do reflect the emotions of the people around me too. By this cricular logic, it leads me to wonder who is the Grand Emotion Controller Person, who is able to control how the whole world feels.
Yesterday was a really bad day. It reminded me the fantastic feeling of being overran by negative emotions. Well, I guess it was a good thing that I had my closest friends with me, as it is highly probable that if I was hanging around with other people, they might take offence to my negative behaviour. Hopefully I do not get last for SCBA today, perhaps that would make me feel better. Actually, I just hope that my partner will not be dissappointed with my standard of play. I am aware of this urge in me to try and please everyone around me.
G is for gratitude. When someone helps you out, you might get this tinggily feeling towards him. That feeling is gratitude. The main trigger for this emotion comes from a deed that one does to benefit you, including altruisic actions. When you feel grateful for something that someone has done, it is best to let him know that you appriciate his actions. No harm can possibily come out from doing so, and there is a high chance you make him feel good knowing that what he has done has not been overlooked.
xw 6:34 PM
Saturday, August 29, 2009
I went to bed last night with a clear idea of what I am going to do today. I remember vaguely that it was something about studying for multiple topics for multiple subjects, including practicing on the Ten-year Series I recently acquired. However, I woke up this morning in a mood for some emo time. These sort of things are not really beyond my control, but being a teenager I am entitled to emo once in a while right?
The master of compromise that I am decided that I should go study and collect my thoughts at the same time. So off I went with $10 and some notes to see if I could accomplish this feat. Of course I needed some snacks to keep me alive while I was studying, so I went to the NTUC to get myself a packet of Famous Amos cookies. Ah, the delicious fragrant taste of baked cookies, where each chocolate chip is placed on every cookie with love and care. With every bite, you feel like you could take on the world. And with the cookies, it made sense to buy a cup of bubble tea to quench my thirst. Then it was off to my favorite emo spot.
Located somewhere on the outskirts of the maze of rich people houses across the road, lies a Japanese cemetery. Yup, for all the H1 Chinese taking people out there, it was the one mentioned in the ridiculously long chapter of boringness. Beside this cemetery is a playground. Due to its lonesome location, it is really empty during the afternoons. Of course it is haunted by Japanese ghosts during the night, and maids with their annoying kids during the early evening. Fine, it is not really their kids, but the key word here is annoying. Upon arrival, I was greeted with a nice empty playground to study. Then came the 3 Chinese speaking girls, who slowed down my studying speed by quite a bit. Can't they just speak in English so that I can eavesdrop properly instead of trying to figure out what they are trying to say? Besides reinforcing my understanding of forces, kinematics and thermal physics, I remembered my theory from long ago that I cannot multi task. I did not feel emotionally comforted or intellectually accomplished with the conclusion of my afternoon. On the bright side, I did manage to evacuate before the annoying kids came.
F is for fear. This feeling comes from the sight of something that could be something so serious that it is life threatening, or something irrational that is unlikely to happen. Most of us feel fear when we can see something that could hurt us. It is a natural response to keep us alert so that we could steer our of negative consequences. However, irrational fears serves no purpose to us other than making us worried over something that is probably not going to happen anyway.
xw 7:52 AM
Friday, August 28, 2009
Lately, I seem to have this interest in Bridge growing inside me. It did not seem so bad even though I was going to SCBA every week, but when I noticed that I was spending my two-hour chemistry tutorial learning about take-out doubles, it became apparent to me that I might be spending a little too much time on it. Not to forget that the promos are coming soon.
The teacher's day celebration was not really to my liking. The video that the Film Society did was funny, the street dancers were good and the singing by various people was entertaining. However, very thing else was pretty dry. In fact, I cannot even list them because I do not remember what they were. There is a chance that those 3 forementioned items where the only parts of the performance, since the whole thing was so short. In that case, the teacher's day celebration was good. Other wise, I have to give everything else gets a point for effort. A nice big point with stars on it.
Perhaps I would have enjoyed that celebration a little more if I was not so distracted by the two people sitting in front of me. Apparently, humoring people when they are teasing you no longer discourages them from continuing. Now, it just gives them more ammunition to mess around with you. And get other people to join in. Don't forget the other people, more people more fun! In my defense, how am I to know that when I take the first first-name that comes to my mind and combine it with the first last-name, I would end up with a real name? I really hope that my class (and Kenneth's class) do not think that I am really attached. Not only will that affect me, I would also have ruined her reputation a little. Okay I shall stop trying to sound politically correct. I do not care about what happens to her as long as I am safe. Ah, that felt good.
One thing about me is that I get random philosophical thoughts sometimes. When I do, I would try to start a discussion with the person beside me, just like how RI has trained me to do. Look what we have traded for Home Economics. We get to be totally boring people! Anyway, most of these discussions ends up with my idea being owned, thanks to Socrates' questioning methods. Tired of being unable to justify my point, I have decided to lay off thinking. If I know nothing, my life would be so blissful. Would you rather know that you have a choice and have to make an important decision, or would you be happier being tricked into thinking that there is only one route and that you can possibly take and that the outcome is uncontrollable?
E is for embarrassment. When experiencing this emotion, one might feel like killing himself or running away and hiding under a rock for eternity. Luckily, this is a short term emotion and is unlikely to last for more than a couple of minutes. You might feel embarrassed when you know that everyone is laughing at your failure, or if the two people sitting in front of you during teacher's day celebration starts teasing you in front of your class. It can be said that embarrassment is the feeling of being vulnerable in front of someone. This temporary loss of dignity might develop into other negative emotions, such as anger against the person that embarrassed you.
xw 9:06 AM
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Today was a great day. It was not great because it had many bad days in the background, though that did make it stand out a little more than it would have.
The hand phone is an object that controls many of our lives. With it, we would be expected to be contactable by our friends, teachers and family members. Often, calls made to you would end up in you having to do something for someone, though it could also be someone calling with an opportunity for you to be somewhere doing something. Either way, the hand phone binds us to reality and disallow us to enjoy the time we can spend alone collecting our thoughts. It was really fortunate that I had the opportunity to feel the liberty that comes from forgetting to bring my hand phone to school today. However, after a little bit of running up and down the school whenever I needed to find somebody, I decided that the hand phone is a really useful social device, right next to an iPod. Hmmm, that makes the iPhone the best.
Physics SPA was frankly quite enjoyable. It was not too easy to the extent that there is no sense of accomplishment and it was not too hard to the extent that I might actually lose marks. In case I spoil this enjoyable SPA experience for the other people out there who have yet to take it, I am unable to type any more about it. So instead, I shall insert a paragraph about my afternoon here:
After school, I had a really packed schedule. Basically, I had to choose between bridge training, ultimate training and Physics remedial. It is situations like this that you are able to see how you juggle your time. Unless you suck at juggling your time, in which case you get to see whats most important to you. With some skill, I went for bridge, then rushed to Physics remedial, sat through the whole thing (seriously, I was just sitting down and not doing anything else. Not even thinking), scurried back down for bridge, hurried over to the main field for ultimate where a scrimmage awaited me and I had the joy of playing about 10 points in a row because there were too little people, and finally dash back to the amphitheater to meet up with some of the bridge people for dinner. To make up for the previous sentence being so long, the next sentence will be short. Really short.
D is for disgust. Feeling disgusted has very privative roots. Our body is programmed to keep itself save, and one of these dangers that it tried to keep away from is anything that might make you sick. Thus, when you see something like a splat green slime or food with ants crawling happily all over, we would feel disgusted. It is our body's way of telling us not to go anywhere near them. Over the ages, this emotion could be used loosely to describe feeling unhappy over something. For example, you could describe bullying in school as a disgusting phenomenon, to show your discontent for it even though it is not really true to the original emotion of disgust.
P.S. In tribute to Yensen, I shall add a post script stating that he won me in Super Smash Bros. Brawl. Not that it is very hard to do so.
xw 6:42 AM
Monday, August 24, 2009
"In summary...", says the voice of Mr. Kelvin Ang coming from the recording of the talk. Yay! It will all be over soon. Just a few more hours to convert this few more minutes of voice into text. Oh yea, by the way, curse the guy who was sneezing in the back ground. You cost me about 5 minutes for each of your sneezing barrages. I hope you are the one doing the transcript for your group.
What an exciting day it was in school. Joan and Jenny did not come to school as they were sick, which made the class' girl guy ratio to drop from "unimpressively uneven" to "undoubtedly unbalanced". Not that it affected me at all, I am just stating my observations. Slowly but steadily, I am able to follow more and more tutorials and lectures, excluding those topics not tested for promos. And Chinese, lets not forget to exclude Chinese. It is almost as if I had gained some superpower that keeps me awake for the whole day, all in the course of one weekend.
C is for crank? Crankiness? Either one of those. There are some days when you get up of bed and just feel cranky. There are not triggers for this particular emotion, which makes some people wonder if it is more like a state of mind than an emotion. Arguably, you can just choose to be cranky, or maybe use it as a cover to hide your trust feelings or intentions. For example, when someone says you why you just kicked him on the shin, you could replace the truthful answer; "You make me feel angry when ever I see you.", with the blanket cover; "Hahaha! Sorry I am really cranky today." Crankiness can be defined as the feeling of being irrational or unpredictable. No one should be able to predict how you would react to anything when you are cranky. Once you have mastered the art of crank, you can get away with anything. Or maybe you will just lose all your friends.
xw 7:01 AM
Friday, August 21, 2009
For the first time this week, I got to wake up feeling refreshed, as opposed to waking up feeling that I have to sleep as soon as possible or my body would break down. Now I am ready to hop on to school and not fall asleep during my MT house comm interview. I honestly have no idea why I signed up for house comm anymore. I do not even remember what I was thinking when I filled up the form and placed it in the box. All I can do now is to go for the interview and not look like a complete idiot by ponning it.
The physical state can easily be rested in a few hours, but the mental state needs much more time to recover. Lecture after lecture, I often find myself confused. Chemistry is not what it used to be. You actually have to try and understand the concept to be able to answer the questions. Economics on the other hand, have you able to understand the concept completely (because it is that intuitive) but even understanding the concept would not help you answer the questions. At least I can get through physics without understanding anything but still being able to answer all the questions. Formulas are designed for enabling people to do that. Chinese lessons are for sleeping. Math lessons are for learning. It is usually this time of the year when I feel like I should start studying, but can never get myself to actually translate this thought into action.
At the very least, I can take comfort in the fact that my heart is cleared.
B is for boredom. It is the state of having nothing to do. It is a common belief that having nothing to do is a good feeling, but from my years of experience, I know that having nothing to do sucks. Boredom could also come from doing something that is mundane. The lack of challenge in a task would make one feel that he could be spending time doing something else a little more interesting. One might feel bored from doing work too fast, being forced to do something repetitive, or when all plans have been cancelled on them.
xw 8:02 PM
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Chemistry spar was just free marks, as expected. Life is good, not surprising either.
The defense talk was really brainwashing though. I know I am usually a little more patriotic than this, but I really do not like people telling me about the horrors of the mindset of Singaporeans which might lead us to being invaded by the "others" with their weapons. The play was quite entertaining though, all brainwashing aside. I liked the idea of getting people up on stage to (try to) play characters and fail quite epically. Oh well, effort marks are still awarded. They are really brave to go down there, something I would never have the courage to do.
A is for anger. It is the feeling of discomfort, ranging from slight irritation to huge annoyance, against someone or something. For example, a bad experience might cause you to feel really irritated when ever you see a certain person. Thus, it can be said that you are angry with that person. This is a negative feeling that can lead to actions which might conflict with our interest. Disillusioned into thinking that we actually want to do something to spite or even hurt someone we are angry with, it often lead to regret in the future when you can think clearly again.
xw 8:23 AM
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Transcripting a talk sucks. The need to pause every half a minute of the recording and replay a phrase over and over again just to make up what the speaker is saying can get pretty annoying. Not annoying enough to make you want to discard your Project Work "A", but annoying enough to make you want to just do it some other day. Sadly enough, I must do it by today, so all I can do is to tame this strong urge to just go and sleep.
Only someone like me can try to figure out a stupid word for nearly five minutes before realizing that the speaker is reading off the slide for that particular point. Back to work!
xw 7:43 AM
Monday, August 17, 2009
Eating a chocolate bar that has been in your fridge for about two years might not be a good idea. Even if the golden 85% Dark Chocolate glitters under the dim lights of the fridge, hold your grounds and do not be tempted into putting it in your mouth. Pondering over what the "08 12 30" printed in black on the back of the box could mean, I brought it down to a two possibilities. It could mean that it would expire on 8th December 2030, or had expired on 30th December 2008. Unfortunately for me, it was the latter. Another case of optimism overshadowing reason leading to disappointment.
The physics test was really easy. Which made it even worse for me that I lost 10 marks on a question. How could I have forgotten what Power was? If only I had bothered to pick up my notes and just glance through the formulas, then I would have a chance of not being bottom of the class. I know this might sound selfish, but I hope that someone screwed up this simple paper more than I did. Just a little more...
Warning: The next paragraph contains incoherent rantings. More incoherent and more ranty than usual anyway.
The absence of Leonard might have also affected my image a little. Apparently, when I walk down a long stretch of road alone, certain people think that I am emo-ing. Why did it not occur to them that I might just have no one to walk with? Or maybe I do not like being near an event that makes me want to puke in disgust? How about that I do not feel like being around certain people at certain times of the day? Whatever the case, I happen to value some people's opinion, and if you know I do value your opinion, stop trying to cut me with your words.
xw 7:03 AM
Sunday, August 16, 2009
The Science Centre is a surprisingly fun place. After a few years of being normal and not going to the Science Centre, I decided to break the trend and go for a exhibition about the greatness of Da Vinci (the genius), with Kenneth.
The exhibition was surprisingly crowded. I was under the impression that only nerds would go for these sort of things. But apparently people of all ages, races, and hairiness were there too. Lots of them. Multiplying the number of heads by $15 ($10 for each small one), it is apparent that the Science Centre people are going to have lots of money. Crowdedness aside, an awful lot of the exhibition is dedicated to a certain artwork of his titled "Mona Lisa". There is even a list of 25 secrets about the painting, including something about her veil and one of her left fingers. How I would ever need this useless bit of information is beyond me. On a side note, kids that cannot read "Do not touch" or "Handle with care" should not be allowed to enter the exhibition. Bleah, that makes me sound a little ageist. Rephrase. Kids that cannot read "Do not touch" or "Handle with care" should not be allowed to have hands.
After spending sometime amongst the Da Vinci loving crowd, Kenneth and I recruited Haiwei into the party and we ventured forth into the Science Centre! It is good to know that the stairway of illusions still amazes me. Maybe when I go back years from now, they would actually have gotten some new illusions for me to marvel at. They also introduced a new section the the Science Centre about nano technology and the four national taps, which somehow managed to get lost and find itself in a small corner of the nano technology branch. They had many interactive displays which showcased the more recent technological advancements. In fact, some displays were so advanced, we took about five minutes attempting to figure out how it works, only to find out that it does not. They also had quizzes which you can compete with your friends against. These quizzes are equipped with multiple choice questions, and by multiple choice questions, I mean questions with the correct answer and two other completely nonsensical answers for you to pick from.
The mirror maze and the button pressing game, both of which I was looking forward to, have mysteriously disappeared into oblivion. Now I will never get to win a prize for pressing a button non-stop for a few months. Hmmm, that would actually be quite fun. I would have to hide from the guards to make sure that they do not catch me and throw me out after 9pm. On the bright side, they have this new exciting game which involves a lot of skill and patience. The skill comes from guiding the ball into the end-point without it dropping into the stratigically placed holes, and the patience comes from having to restart once a kid runs in and starts jumping around the motion sensor pad when you are THIS close to winning. No offence to regular kids out there, I was referring to a specific breed of maniac kids.
And now, I am faced with a physics test ahead of me, and no knowledge about anything other than that it is going to test us on Work energy power and Circular motion. Maybe the Science skills from the Science Centre and Da Vinci would have rubbed off from a whole day of exposure and I would be fine. But all I can do now is hope. Or study. But I prefer hope, its less tiring.
xw 8:03 AM
Thursday, August 13, 2009
A physics mock spar awaits me tomorrow. My crystal ball have warned me about the difficulty of the mock spar. Logically, to prepare us mentally and to get the slackers to stop slacking, the teachers would be more than happy to set a challenging mock spar. By the end of tomorrow's physics practical, I would have a checklist of stationary that I would need to purchase in order to take my actual spar. You would think that four years in secondary school would have taught me to care more about upcoming assessments and tests, but just like today's Economics case study test on market structure (which i aced by the way), I find it difficult to get myself to care.
Speaking about caring for stuff, I have drafted a list of things I care about. My family aside and in order of decreasing carity:
1) Friends
2) Project Work
3) Skin
Some might say this is a really short list. I say that I don't have the energy to go and care about too many stuff.
xw 8:24 AM
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
I entered the Chemistry classroom today and approached the front row (after doing a bit of Leonard Convincing). And there is was, the table of No-no-no.
This table is not ordinary table. It had many "No"s written on it, just like the chicken pox scattered from a sad kid's face, or the hives on me after I have been tricked into eating Twisties. Looking at this table has reminded me of the meaning of life. The pessimist in us all likes to make us believe that life is hopeless, and that there is no point in striving for anything, because it would probably just end in disaster. Throughout our life, we would have been scarred with "no"s, from our disappointed teachers, or angry parents. We might even have failed our own expectations, which caused us to feel... bad. But like this table, we must learn to stand through all these scars. Heads up, chest high!
I am so proud of the table which stood strong and tall for me, as I laid my head upon its head, and closed my eyes for a little nap.
xw 6:50 AM
Saturday, August 8, 2009
I am finally done with my Graphing Techniques assignment, just in time to be about nine hours behind my schedule. Looks like I will not be able to enjoy myself much this national day.
On a completely separate note, I have once again been hit by a truth that I already know. Only a fool would know something and yet choose not to believe it. It is called self deception. I have about 48 hours to clear my mind and decide if I should spend anymore on something I know will never pay out. Just from reading the previous four sentence that I have typed, it really seems like I have already made up my mind. Looks like there is still hope for me to liberate myself from the chains that I have idiotically been shackled with.
Happy birthday to my one and only... Singapore.
xw 7:59 AM
Friday, August 7, 2009
My desk is in a mess. Maybe I should take some time to clear all these crap.
Long Ruler - This object can help you measure stuff that are up to 30cm long. It can also help you draw really long and straight lines for physics spar.
Drumsticks - Great for spinning. And keeping rhythm, though it tends to damage objects that you drum on.
Almost Completed Deck of Poker Cards - 51 cards with identical backings! Useless until the missing card is identified and found.
Hand Phone - A device that can help me contact people I know. Also allows others to invade my privacy.
Hexo-Dane - Blue liquid in a bottle. Keeps swine flu at bay, at the cost of alcohol smelling hands.
"High School Musical" Magic 8 Ball - Answers any "yes-no" questions you might have about the universe. Proven to work half the time.
Banned Electronic Chinese Dictionary - Which idiot made an electronic chinese dictionary and add so much functions that it cannot be brought to an examination hall? And which idiot bought it?
Scientific Calculator - Saw me through my secondary four end-of-years, only to be ditched by me for a more sexy Graphic Calculator the following year.
Singapore Flag (x3) - These flags can make any Singaporean swell with pride and love for the nation.
Pen with no Ink - Who needs ink when you can spin?
Garfield Clock - Claims that it is 12:47 all day round.
Chinese Oral Notes - These notes allows the owner to equip himself/herself with the knowledge needed to almost pass a Chinese Oral Examination.
Project Work Papers+Journal - Arrgghh. PW sucks.
Torchlight - Helps me find my way around my messy desk when it gets too dark.
Stuffed Bear - <3
Guitar Pick and Capo - These two magical items can make music when comboed with a guitar. And someone who knows how to play the guitar.
Piece of Paper - Huh? This thing has 8 random letters written on it followed by a number. Mystery shrouds the meaning of these letters and number.
Penknife - Sharp object that can cut paper and slash wrists.
Scissors - Sharp object that can only cut paper.
80 cents - Just enough money to buy a bottle of F&N orange from a vending machine in school.
King of Hearts - This dude got lost from the rest of his friends. Is that why he is stabbing his own head?
Maple Prepaid Card - A card with a Pepe on it. Reminds me of the sucky times i had playing Maplestory.
2006 Calendar - Used to be useful a long time ago.
Library Book - A book from the library. Proof that I read.
xw 3:17 AM
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Woohoo. PW is really retarded. Many eventful days have gone by. These events includes Music Elective Program concert, Scrabble day, get back failing results for Economics. Now, I have enough things to write quite a few blog posts, but because of PW, I have to not waste my time typing stuff that I am not going to use for my written report. Kenneth was right, it takes quite a bit of will power to keep a blog with new posts.
While waiting for my group members to get back to me, I shall talk about the MEP concert. Oh screw they are back.
<3 PW
xw 9:37 AM
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Today was CIP day. It started off with a bit of oversleeping. It all goes to show that DotA was never meant to be played throughout the night. In fact, DotA is too time consuming and I have henceforth decided to bump it a few places down my priorities (again)on the grounds of "high opportunity costs". Never mind, it was a good thing I turned up for CIP because I could finally put my Balloon Sculpting Skill into good use! I did manage to burst quite a few balloons though, and I also learnt that the church people are more generous than the random bus stop people.
In line with my future plans of being a psychologist, i did a little bit of human observation today. I declare that Bryan and Kenneth are officially addicted to GFDM. It hurts me a little bit as they are my really good friends and I would hate to lose them to an arcade machine. But being human, I am also slightly relieved that I have avoided this evilness embodied in a harmless machine with pretty lights and melodious music.
National Day happens to be in a week's time. Oooooo, I can already feel the anticipation building up.
xw 4:44 AM
Saturday, August 1, 2009
After many weekends of procastination, I have finally gotten myself to sit down and start revising. For the Promos. By now, some of us might have realized that the Promos are like, awfully close, and those that have made this ridiculously Kia Su observation are lifeless muggers. I, on the other hand, am starting to study because of Mr. Lim's inspiring speech about how we are going to gg if we do not start studying now. You know, one big difference between Mr. Lim and Mr. Vadi, aside from their size and skin colour, is that Mr. Lim actually prepares himself for civics, so we do not get to hear some improvisation bullshit. Instead of watching some Indian potato chip ad, we get to watch inspiring videos of limbless guys picking themselves up.
Anyway, I am amazed on how little I can revise even though I spent a humongous part of the day studying. The road of a mugger is a long and lonely one. =(
xw 7:53 PM
